Corn Madness Grips Iowa

The corn. Tall it grows. Sometimes it reaches so high it can get disorienting. In those years, it’s been known to drive the residents of Iowa mad, or dumb, or sometimes both.  A man can’t think straight when corn madness is whispering in his ear.

Once, a man with a corn-shattered brain tried to build a campfire between the ethanol and diesel pumps at a Shell station. “I just want to make some popcorn,” he was heard to say, seconds before his death. “Can you help move that field over yonder a little closer to my fire?”

Another time, the Athletic Director at the University of Iowa hired Greg Davis to be offensive coordinator of the football team. “The magnetic field of the Earth is going to reverse its polarity any day now,” he said. “A forward-looking university must be able to switch directions on a moment’s notice. North-south is dead. All bow down to east-west.”

The corn is high this year. The corn is high.

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